If you think you are not winning at something, then cheer up because that is about to change. The key thing you need to do is to be honest about how bad you want to win.

If you are convinced you are genuinely ready to do what it takes, here are five proven strategies:

1. Be clear this is really what you want

Be sure this is yours and not someone else’s.

Often a times we are influenced by the society, environment,  things or people around us. We end up with other people's goals and ideas of what success is. Our “whys” are not really our “whys”. This explains why sometimes we do not follow through and we get easily discouraged and stop.

What is it you really want? Is what you think you want what you really want? Is it yours? Are you prepared to go through what it takes to get what you want or to become what you want to be?

Stop and think through this first. Define what success is for you.

Make sure you are not artificially influenced by your family, history, friends, media, whoever or whatever. Whatever it is that you want. Make it yours, believe it and fully embrace it.

Gain clarity: 

At this stage in your life, imagine you have 10 exact years left to live. Or imagine you are on your death bed. What is that thing you’d want to have at least achieved in your life before your time is up? How would you live every moment? What you want does not have to be "easy”. But the right thing to do. What your heart continues to yearn for. The ghost that always lurks around in the corner even when you are being positive.

 2. Turn what you really want into what you must have

To achieve your goals in life, they need to be a must for you. Really... think back to when you have achieved a goal worthwhile. Is this not what it takes no matter what the obstacle is? You are highly motivated to get it done no matter how long it takes.

You may not be fully ready or have the resources or even know how to, but you are motivated because you want it more than the next person. Time and time again, there are countless examples of people who have accomplished what may have been historically considered impossible up until that point.

There is one thing these people have in common. It is a must for them. You see. It will always hunt them or serve as a constant reminder, something pending, a pain point – they are drawn to it - No matter how positive or grateful they may seem. There is less peace of mind without it. It is the simple truth on how people have achieved incredible results. It is the same reason healthy babies with legs eventually walk.

You must raise your game; your standard; you must be tired of where you are and are highly motivated to get what you want.

Recreate the scene in your head:

You have 10 years left to live; You are on your death bed. Are you going to let some cold calling stop you? Are you going to let some exam stop you? Are you going to let anyone, or anything intimidate you? No. This is a must. Nothing should be strong enough to stop you in your tracks.

3. Get rid of your limiting beliefs

Winning is largely psychological – a mindset game. What you must do and how you do are important. But the game changer is simply the will to take actions and keeping taking actions, the mindset - that inner programming that is running all-day especially when you are in a low state.

It is one reason why you know what to do and do not do it or why you hesitate or hold back.

It is also why you think you cannot do it. You probably have heard this before - If you think you can, you can. If you think you cannot, you cannot.

Your beliefs lead to the choices you make and your habitual patterns. Hence, the reason why you are where you are at this stage in your life.

Your deep beliefs keep you going when everything around you say stop; this is what determines the kind of actions you take – weak/random/reactive or intense/purposeful/result-driven. This is what keeps you focused or distracted. This is what determines your level of consistency and commitment; this is what determines your daily habit or thought process or perception about life and your general sense of well-being. This is the reason a light bulb, an airplane, a cellphone, or internet exist. It is the reason why slavery in the free world ended, why Obama or Trump became president and why you will or will not get what you want.

We humans find a way to remain consistent with what we believe. We find reasons to justify where we are and whatever achievements we have thus far. It is the same reason we see and experience what we focus on. We are all born with the potential to do great things. But our beliefs often get in the way; they determine the type of actions we take. The type of actions we take influences our results. The results we get further reinforces our beliefs.

Here are some strategies to improving your beliefs.

• Start with being in a great state of mind. Exercise - Jump up, walk, run, lift weights.. change you physiology.. There are plenty of evidence linking mental well-being to physical activities.. how are you going to make good decisions when you have low energy or you feel overwhelmed or feel beating? You are likely to make good choices when you are in a great state of mind..
  
• Focus on and picture the positive end results of what you want repeatedly in your mind
  
• Surround yourself with positive minded folks…people who are playing at the level you want to be at or who have overcome incredible challenges in their lives. You can read about them and their work; get inspired about their work; immerse yourself in such surroundings
  
• Take actions as if it is impossible to fail. Start small. Gain some momentum. Do more. Gain some more momentum. Do not underestimate where you can be in 5 to 10 years if you keep on moving and taking progressive actions. Everything adds up. Get rid of instant gratifications and the need to get there super fast. Small targeted, focused, and well-intended actions are better than no actions. It is never too late for you unless you are on your death bed. If you have no idea where to start, model what's already working or get a Results coach. Start anywhere and keep going.

4. Find out what works and model it

Whatever you want, trust me; you are not the first to ever want it or a variation of it. There is someone out there who has already done it or done something like it or that has perfected what to do and how to do it. You can model what they have done. Be bold. Swallow your pride. Ask for their help. Let nothing stop you from finding out and modeling what works. Be relentless, resourceful, and creative. Be okay to change approaches that do not work. Take massive actions. Keep going... Get a Results coach.

5. Focus on learning, growing and contributing

• Keep your focus on learning, growing and adding value onto others. What you will get is a result of what you are willing to give and all the steps above.
  
• Know your reasons. Focus on who you will become, the legacy you will leave behind. What your kids, grand and great grand kids, people who know you or do not know you will say about you. What impact this will have in the lives of many. What you want should be bigger than you. Be bold. Make a statement. Your statement.
  
• Do your research on those at the top of their game or who you admire. Find out what they have done - the amount of behind the scenes and what they continue to do daily and the benefits of their actions onto others or the world. Find out what they had endured.
  
• Talk about force of attraction. When you focus on growing and contributing, this is what attracts the right people into your life. It is how you will get where you are going and be able to not only keep what you get but also get more.
  
• Find ways to continue to serve or give in your own way more than anyone else. This is what will drive you to keep growing so you can continue to give. Growing and contributing leads to fulfillment.

Final thoughts... Keep it real!

Stop beating yourself up if you are not willing to do what it takes to get what you want. Alternatively, change your view on what you really want. Embrace it and be okay with the choices you are making.

When on your death bed, be able to say you gave it all on what really mattered. Life’s too short. Live full and die empty. Do everything you can everyday to realize your goal. Enjoy each day while you are here and be profoundly grateful for what you have and where you are.

Remember, if your heart truly wants more, it is a sign that you need to figure out what that is and go for it like your life depends on it because it does.